Reunion

B-Dad's girlfriend hates me, and would like to shut me out of their lives. Luke needs support that I can't give him from half a continent away. My grandmother is myself in forty years. And my aunt has developed a friendship with my husband in the past week that is shocking since he was supportive of the search but totally opposed to being involved in the result.

And despite the emotions that are swirling around me, I am left with life instead of a fairy tale. This is a family. This is my family. It's not perfect. It's a little screwy. And it makes me feel like I belong.

They (Dad) keep(s) apologizing because it's messy and hard and not Leave it to Beaver. But I don't want that - it would feel too much like Pleasantville. That isn't who I am. Good lord, I'm listening to Grace Slick as I type this.

I know that some of these feelings of amazement won't last. I hope that eventually they feel enough like real family that I can just look at them as a major pain in the a** and a joy and a blessing like I do with my a-fam. When I try to ignore them because I know they're not going to disappear, that's when I know I'll feel like we've settled - it may take years.

What I hope I don't lose is this feeling I get who I am, where I come from, and how I relate to the world. It's the first time in my life I've ever felt this way...